Not sure what’s wrong

I know I probably have something wrong with me. I used to go to a therapist when I was younger and then again a year ago, but I’m no longer able to go because I don’t have insurance…

Lately I’ve been having intense mood swings. I’d be happy then one moment I’m angry or a wreck. And small things, to most people, will completely ruin my day. If I feel slightly offended or disappointed I sometimes just start crying. I take everything so seriously when I used to be carefree. I feel like a complete bitch and I feel I take it out on my boyfriend. I sometimes think I should leave and just avoid everyone so I don’t hurt them anymore. I feel overwhelmingly hopeless, angry, and guilty for feeling the way I do.

Another thing is I feel I don’t enjoy the things I used to. It’s been my dream to make music, but I just stopped trying. I bought a guitar and a couple other instruments, played them for a week or two, and then just stopped. I would try to start a band then just give up. Another thing is I wanted to start my own business, I bought all these supplies to help me, but I just don’t feel like doing it anymore and stopped trying again…

I feel like I’m unconsciously screwing myself over and I don’t know how to change it.

2 thoughts on “Not sure what’s wrong

  • mm
    21/11/2016 at 03:58

    This is super late. I was scrolling down reading the posts and as soon as I read yours, gosh, I imagined myself. That is exactly me. I can’t get professional help and I get hurt by the simple things. I get frustrated and push everyone away. Art and music are my hobbies but I’ve seemed to stop that. I wonder where I went wrong. The thing is, this isn’t you. You enjoyed your hobbies and the depression hinders you. Instead of running away, talk to them. You can’t control your feelings so you shouldn’t feel guilty. Be happy in life because you deserve it, we all do.

  • mm
    02/12/2016 at 01:42

    Thank you for answering. I really appreciate it and it makes it a little easier knowing I’m not alone.

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